How do you choose your food?

In the past month or so, we have found ourselves eating out quite a bit. Whether it is busy schedules or special days, our meals at home have been fewer than they probably should be. One day when I was ordering, it struck me that I change how I choose my food based on where I am eating. For example, last night, Wanda and I went to Culvers. When I went in, I was looking for something that “looked good”. I choose the Pot Roast dinner. I have had good pot roast and not so good pot roast. While I know what it was supposed to taste like, this one exceeded my expectations of a pot roast from a “Fast Food” place. Still, I went in looking for something that I wanted.

There are some restaurants that are more creative. I am talking about eateries like Panera or those that use unique combinations of ingredients. When I go into those establishments, I am looking to challenge myself, to see how far the chef is willing to push me. Sometimes, you get something that you do not care for too much. Sometimes, it blows your mind with how good it is. I remember going to someone’s house for dinner and they served a vegetable dish with corn, summer squash and zucchini. I normally do not care for summer squash and zucchini but this dish was delicious. If I was at a restaurant, I would not have ordered that because it would not have appealed to me. But, I was glad that they served it so I could appreciate the dish and the flavors that can come out of those often-times bland and strangely-textured veggies.

When I am at home and I am watching TV, there is a better than 50/50 chance that I am either watching sports or a show about food. In both of those environments, they talk about pushing yourself, expanding your horizons, seeing how far you can go. I fully agree with expanding your world for a purpose (pushing the envelope just to push the envelope is for another post). When we talk about sports, it is pushing yourself so in the heat of the moment or a game, you can perform better. When we talk about food, we push ourselves to appreciate the wide varieties of food that God has provided us.

Pushing our limits is not just for food and sports. Too often, we approach God the way we approach a fast food joint or a familiar restaurant: what looks good. We come to church wanting something familiar to satisfy our wants. We expect to know what it should be like and critique it on how it did or did not live up to our expectations. We spend time in our quiet times reading safe or familiar passages, books, genres. I am not saying that this is entirely wrong. Sometimes we need to be refreshed and reminded of good familiar truths from God just like a good bowl of ice cream. Sometimes we are beat up and need something refreshing like a fresh, crisp BLT sandwich or good old comfort food like pot roast with potatoes.

But there are times that we should challenge ourselves spiritually. Paul in 1 Corinthians 3 is encouraging the church in Corinth to push their limits. He wanted to expand their horizons about God but they were not ready. For me, this came when I finished my reading and study of 1 & 2 Thessalonians. For my personal studies, I have spent 90% of my time in the New Testament and probably 75% of that time in the epistles. Again, not that it was not fruitful but I was doing the familiar. So, I then went to Ezra and Nehemiah. While they were in the Old Testament, they were still safe for me because they were historical books. To me, the prophecy books were like summer squash and zucchini. I had it growing up and it never tasted good to me. So I tried to avoid it as much as possible. Thankfully, God prompted me to see where I needed to expand my horizon and also see the connection between the last three books in the Old Testament (Haggai, Zechariah, and Malachi) and Ezra and Nehemiah. I am through Haggai and working through Zechariah now. I would not say that I have fully appreciated this new “food” but I am starting to.

While my tastes are not at adventurous as Andrew Zimmer (Bizarre Foods), as a Christian, I affirm the whole council of the Word and the inspiration of all of the Bible. Thus, I should be willing and able to taste and appreciate all parts of the Bible for what God intended. Of course, this means I need to get out of my comfort zone and challenge myself. What new areas of Himself is God wanting to show you today?

Why I am Thankful for My Dad

It has been almost two and a half years since Dad went home to be with his Lord. I always struggled to tell him how I felt. So this year as Father’s Day is approaching, I thought I would write down some things I appreciated about him.

1.      He showed me how to care about others at all times. Even when he was going through his own physical problems, he was still concerned and asked about Wanda with her physical issues.

2.      He showed me how to be a man of extreme integrity and principals. He wanted to do what was right even WHEN it cost him in his career and reputation.

3.      He showed me what it looked like to be a student of the Bible. If he was home come 8:00 or 9:00 at night, we knew where he would be: on the corner f the couch in the Living room with his Bible.

4.      He showed me how to care for a spouse. Even when Mom was in her last hours and sedated, he was still concerned that her ear was not being bent by one of the tubes she had.

5.      He showed a passion for God and faithfulness to His Word. He was instrumental in leading our home church away from the ELCA before the big exodus occurred because he saw that what our church believed was not the beliefs to which the ELCA church was committed.

6.      He showed me to try new things but be prudent. At the age of 50, we went to Colorado and he learned how to ski. The first half of the day, he spent on the bunny hill just learning how to fall and get up again. He knew he was going to fall so he wanted to do it right. By the way, the next day, he went with Mom and let Craig and I ski by ourselves.

7.      Although I did not inherit this trait, he showed me how to be creative. If the TV channel knob was stripped, he attached a long rod out the back of the TV with a crank on it that allowed us to turn the channels. When our VW’s would not start, he figured out how to bypass the starter by putting either a button or light switch inside the car to start it.

8.      He showed me the benefits of having a project. He always had something that was occupying his mind. Sometimes that was a theological truth; sometimes it was a recipe from a restaurant that he wanted to copy; sometimes it was a wood project he was working on. Whatever it was, he was ruminating on something most of the time.

9.      He showed me how to disagree civilly. There were times when his passion got the best of him and he came across too strong. But there were other times where he was comfortable with someone else not believing the same as him on secondary issues (I believe Merle Johnson and him did not agree about the End Times but they were good friends).

10.   Finally, he showed me what it meant to be a Christian in all aspects of your life. Thank you for introducing me to God and being an example of how to live out your life in service to Him.

Reactions to the Duggars

On Wednesday, I had a meeting that went longer than I had anticipated. When I got home, my wife was watching the interview with Jim and Michelle Duggar so I watched the rest of it with her. They did a good job of explaining their actions but my take was that people who supported them would agree with them and people that did not support them would still be upset and angry with how the situation was handled. As it turns out, that is what the reaction was on Thursday. Many people still called them “hypocrites” and “creepy” after hearing their side of the story. They see their actions as reprehensible and inconsistent with their actions to stop same-sex marriages.

Whiel there are many angles through which one can look at this story, I want tofocus on one small area dealing with our view of sin. As I am reflecting on their words and the reaction that others are giving, it is obvious that there is a HUGE gap between the two sides. After hearing the same words, why is there this gap? Why are their two such opposite camps here?

This seems odd since both camps can see the horror that occurred. Josh Duggar did some awful things. He sinned; he committed a crime; he broke the trust his family had with him. There is no excuse for those actions. This is plain to see from either camp. While some do not see homosexual acts as sinful, the Duggars do. Thus, they even put what Josh did in the same category as homosexual activity.

But this brings up the question of why are they so anti-gay, homophobic if you will, but then seemed to sweep Josh’s activity under the rug? In my Bible readings lately, I have been reading in Romans and I think this “inconsistency” can be seen by looking at a couple of verses: Romans 1:32 and Romans 7:18-20.

Romans 1:32

“Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” (ESV)

Paul had just listed a bunch of sins and he notes that the problem is not only that they are doing these actions but their attitude towards those actions. They do not see the actions as being wrong. They just keep doing them and “give approval to those who practice them.” These people are not sorry for their actions and are not working to stop the behavior. This is the category that many Christians, including the Duggar’s, place the idea of same-sex marriage. If people have same-sex desires and decide to get married, they are no longer fighting against those feelings. They have accepted those feelings as okay and not a problem. Thus, acting on them is not sinning. In other words, they are not repentant sinners.

On the other hand, if we look to Romans 7, we see a totally different picture.

Romans 7:18-20

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (ESV)

This paints a picture of someone that is fighting sin. They may give in to temptation (reluctantly or in defiance) but once confronted, they break down and confess. No matter how often they do this sin, they are penitent. They see their actions as sin, they know they did wrong, and they are working to stop that behavior. Like the verses say, desire to do the right thing is not the only thing that is needed to prevent sin. This is the category that they place Josh’s actions. He sinned. He confessed. There was regret and sorrow for his actions. (How things were handled after this point is beyone the focus on this post.)

Unfortunately, there are people that can play the game. They know the words to say to appear remorseful and repentant. This is especially true for sex offenders. They are confronted and they can act sorry for what they did. They play it off only to go out and do it again to someone else. These fall in to the first category: unrepentant sinners.

So how can we tell if someone is telling the truth or just playing a game? We can look at the rest of their life to see if they are trustworthy. Do they get mad or defensive when confronted with other behavior issues? Are they truthful about the other areas of their life? These are some indicators but there is no guarantee that we can be accurate. That is when, as Christians, we pray and as the Holy Spirit to work in their lives.

So in the end, do I think that Josh Duggar is a repentant sinner or an unrepentant sinner? Even though what is being said by the Duggars appears to point to repentance, I do not know him well enough to make a guess. I hope and pray he is the former.

What is your attitude towards sin? Are we defiant and dismissive or broken and repentant? God cares about how you answer that question.

#3 – Is having fun in church so bad?

#3 – Is having fun in church so bad?

In continuing my series about things we know to be true but we forget about when we teach kids, we come to a topic that is controversial. I have heard it said many times that the church is not a social club. Most of the time, this is referring to the adults and the fact that the churches need to push their congregations harder and challenge them in their walk with the Lord. It has also been used to question the activities of Youth or Children’s Ministries. These particular ministries tend to have activities for the sake of having activities. They like to have fun and people think they are forgetting the purpose of the church: make disciples. While this may be true of some ministries, there is a reason for this type of programming.

I think it would be helpful if we used a different word instead of “fun”. When people use the word “fun” in relation to the church, they normally use it with a negative tone. The Gospel is serious and the issues of Heaven and Hell are as well. We need to focus on these items and “fun” is not appropriate. “Fun” also can become an end in itself. Thus, people say there is no redeeming value in these “fun” activities.

That is why I like to use the word “engaging” instead of “fun”. The word “engaging” is more of an umbrella word that includes fun but also includes teaching and conversations. This word also indicates that the fun is not the end result. In order to be able to speak in people’s lives, one needs to be able to have a connection. These engaging events are ways to make these connections. As an example, we had one child that was having problems in our Awana program. He would not respond to me at all and was being disruptive to the class. Once I got him talking about professional wrestling, he opened up about what was going on and we could work through some struggles he had. Ministry is done through relationships. Thus, our activities need to be engaging to create those relationships.

In addition, all people tend to be more enthused to learn about topics that are more enjoyable to them. Because of this, we tend to have themes that are kids-friendly. We are doing an animal theme now and we have done a series on candy. Both of these are engaging topics for kids and they are able to have hooks in their minds to the teachings we are trying to relay to them. I still have someone that comes up to me to talk about the idea that mints hide bad breath like we try to hide our sin. The way to get rid of bad breath is to brush our teeth and the way to get rid of our sin is to confess it to God. That was taught back in early December.

Engaging topics and engaging activities help the kids connect with the lesson more and help them remember the main point better. Yes, having fun at church is a good thing but there is a purpose for the fun: to engage the kids with the leaders and with the lessons.

#2 - What makes us spiritually smart?

#2. Just knowing a lot of facts doesn’t mean you’re smart.

This is the second in a series of posts discussing some educational ideas that we know are true but we gloss over them when we teach kids, specifically in light of Children’s Ministry in the church. This one hit home to me pretty hard. I grew up in a Christian home and I was the typical know-it-all. Whether at church or at school, I had a knack for trivia. I used any test or quiz as an opportunity to show off. At church, my friend and I were always competing against each other. We could name the 12 disciples, 12 tribes, 10 commandments, Books of the Bible and regurgitate most every Bible Story including the minor details.

Throughout grade school and Junior High (what we called Middle School), I lived in this realm of collecting trivia. When I got to High school, the Bible studies that we did in the youth group changed. They were not about the stories as much as about life lessons. For example, more time was spent in the epistles than the stories in the Gospels. Eventually, it dawned on me that trivia is not the end goal of Christianity. By that time, it was clear that others got that sooner than I and they were much further along in their spiritual walk than I was. I was finding myself being confused by the questions that were asked where they were providing insight with their answers. I had missed a large piece of the puzzle.

Why did I miss it? There are a couple reasons that I think translate to kids today. First, it was easier. Facts and tidbits of information were easy for me to remember. The analytical side of me took over and convinced me that this was most important. It was easy to see if I was right or not; it was objective and that appealed to my logical side. Second, I was good at it. As a junior higher, I was trying to fit in and I found something I was good at. My value came from being the “smartest person” in the room. Boy, did I have my treasure in an empty pursuit there.

The referenced article states that learning too many facts and focusing on the detail too much can actually hurt the student when it comes to using thinking skills. I fully agree. When the High School Bible Studies asked thinking questions, I was too busy trying to find “the correct answer”. Instead, it was enough to just start thinking about the subject.

So what does this mean to our ministries? Similar to the previous post, we need to make sure we are teaching the “why” behind the stories and verses and not just the “what”. We need to tie the lessons to the real life of our audience. One tool I have found very helpful is to ask them what they are struggling with. If we are dealing with temptation, throw it out to them and see what they say. I have been surprised many times with how deep and honest they can be with their answers.

Secondly, we need to be aware of what we value and reward. Bible drills are good and review questions are important. However, are we rewarding those behaviors more than thinking skills and applying the lesson to their lives? Of course we are because the objective is much easier to quantify than the subjective. The problem is that the subjective thinking areas are the ones we need to make sure the kids spend some time processing. I am not opposed to rewards but we need to make sure we are teaching the important lessons.

As in every discipline, just having the knowledge is not enough. In music, knowing theory is good but putting it to work when performing is better. A doctor can know what is wrong with a patient but a good doctor takes the next step and knows how to treat the problem. The same is true in the Christian walk. We need to make sure we are teaching how to use the lessons we learn in the Bible in our day to day lives (James 1:23-25).

Mistake with Commercials

It is a tradition that I started a few years back to rate the Super Bowl Commercials. I did this with my team at Midland National because not everyone was interested in the game itself. We had fun with it. Since I have left Midland, I still pay attention to the commercials. Yesterday, I rated the commercials that I thought were the best on a Facebook post. I was nervous about one of them but included it anyway.

After thinking through the situation, I need to apologize for including the Fiat commercial in my list. I have a long standing rule about crude humor that I abandoned: if you cannot explain the joke/saying to an elementary aged-child without being embarrassed, it is not appropriate. That is why I have edited my previous post. While funny, it was inappropriate in a context where children would be watching.

One of my hobbies is to find out where certain sayings originate. For example, “Three sheets to the wind”, meaning someone is drunk, refers to what a ship needs to do in order to sail against the wind, They need to go back and forth in a zig-zag fashion. This resembles the way a drunk walks. This started because I am a literal person and I deal with children, who are very concrete thinkers themselves and also take a topic and drive it into the ground through repetition. One day, I heard someone use a phrase I had used many times before for someone that was trying to win favor with someone in authority by flattery or service (think a color and the thing you use to smell). It dawned on me, how can I explain this to a child without getting into topics that they should not be talking about?

Some of you may think I am being a prude or too rigid. That is fine; you are entitled to your opinion. In fact, I agree with you. I am being strict. The reason is that our kids grow up too fast as it is. I do not want to be the person that puts those ideas in their heads.

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

#1 Bible Memory: Fruitful or Wasteful?

Recently, I read an article about educating children and how we are not doing the best job of it. The article highlighted the work of Alfie Kohn, who wrote down 10 truths we know about educating kids that we ignore when we actually teach kids. As I read these 10 ideas, each one resonated with me in my education but also how I teach the kids at church. In the next few posts, I want to investigate each one and how it relates to church ministry. Here is his first point:

#1. Much of the material students are required to memorize is soon forgotten.

While the first church related thing that comes to mind is AWANA, this is true about memory verses in Sunday School or Children’s Church. In his explanation he says this:

 “Knowledge is less likely to be retained if it has been acquired so that one will perform well on a test, as opposed to learning in the context of pursuing projects and solving problems that are personally meaningful.”

Getting a section “signed off” in Awana or being able to say a verse in front of the Sunday School class can be seen by the child as a test. That is the perceived purpose for memorizing scripture. As he said, this is not the best way to help the child remember. My oldest son was a prime example. He had a great short-term memory. He would not do any work on his Awana book all week. On the way to church, he would start looking at the verses and be able to get 3-4 sections done in a night. The reviews were harder for him because he had forgotten the verses by that time and they had more verses to remember. He made it through Cubbies, Sparks and TnT (Timothy Award) this way. If you ask him now (he is in college) about the verses, he can hardly remember any of them. In the books, Awana tries to tie the verses into the whole section and they try to teach the clubber more about what the verse means. Unfortunately, as Awana Leaders, too often we are too concerned with getting the section signed off so we can move on to the other kids than making sure they fully understand the verses they are saying.

So how can we help this? One, be more intentional in explaining the verses. Two, make the purpose of memory to be understanding and application rather than “performance”. In Awana, one of the Children’s Ministry Director’s I worked under impressed on me the importance of asking a child what the verse means after they say the verse. If they can put it in their own words, they understand what it is saying.

In our Children’s church and in some Sunday School material, they have a memory verse(s) for multiple weeks. I see this as more beneficial in that repetition over the multiple weeks can help reinforce the verse. Also, it gives the teacher more opportunity to explain the verse in different contexts and in different ways. For example, teaching Psalm 119:11 “I have hid your word in my heart that I may not sin against you”: One week we would write the verse on a board, say it, then erase a word, then say the verse and repeat until the verse is gone. Then, I would explain how we can read the Bible and forget what it says. That does not help much; we need to make sure we can remember what God says. That is why we memorize verses. The next week we would have cards with the words printed on them and have the kids put them in order. Then I would explain how having Bible verses in my head helps me when I am being tempted, just like Jesus did in the wilderness.

My point is that rote memory is not the most helpful way to learn. On the other hand, memorizing Scripture is important to the spiritual walk of our kids. Thus, we need to be careful and make sure that just being able to spit back some words that are in the Bible is not the goal of memorizing Scripture. Understanding them and applying them to our lives is the goal. That is why I love Psalm 119:11 and have used it as one of my ministry verses: it does not stop with the first phrase “I have hid your word in my heart”. It goes on to tell us why we should: “So I may not sin against you.” Memorization and application. “They go together like peas and carrots.” (Forest Gump)

Additional recources:

https://strangetriumph.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/the-danger-and-potential-of-memorizing-scripture/

http://childrensministry.com/articles/should-childrens-ministries-require-scripture-memory/