#3 – Is having fun in church so bad?

#3 – Is having fun in church so bad?

In continuing my series about things we know to be true but we forget about when we teach kids, we come to a topic that is controversial. I have heard it said many times that the church is not a social club. Most of the time, this is referring to the adults and the fact that the churches need to push their congregations harder and challenge them in their walk with the Lord. It has also been used to question the activities of Youth or Children’s Ministries. These particular ministries tend to have activities for the sake of having activities. They like to have fun and people think they are forgetting the purpose of the church: make disciples. While this may be true of some ministries, there is a reason for this type of programming.

I think it would be helpful if we used a different word instead of “fun”. When people use the word “fun” in relation to the church, they normally use it with a negative tone. The Gospel is serious and the issues of Heaven and Hell are as well. We need to focus on these items and “fun” is not appropriate. “Fun” also can become an end in itself. Thus, people say there is no redeeming value in these “fun” activities.

That is why I like to use the word “engaging” instead of “fun”. The word “engaging” is more of an umbrella word that includes fun but also includes teaching and conversations. This word also indicates that the fun is not the end result. In order to be able to speak in people’s lives, one needs to be able to have a connection. These engaging events are ways to make these connections. As an example, we had one child that was having problems in our Awana program. He would not respond to me at all and was being disruptive to the class. Once I got him talking about professional wrestling, he opened up about what was going on and we could work through some struggles he had. Ministry is done through relationships. Thus, our activities need to be engaging to create those relationships.

In addition, all people tend to be more enthused to learn about topics that are more enjoyable to them. Because of this, we tend to have themes that are kids-friendly. We are doing an animal theme now and we have done a series on candy. Both of these are engaging topics for kids and they are able to have hooks in their minds to the teachings we are trying to relay to them. I still have someone that comes up to me to talk about the idea that mints hide bad breath like we try to hide our sin. The way to get rid of bad breath is to brush our teeth and the way to get rid of our sin is to confess it to God. That was taught back in early December.

Engaging topics and engaging activities help the kids connect with the lesson more and help them remember the main point better. Yes, having fun at church is a good thing but there is a purpose for the fun: to engage the kids with the leaders and with the lessons.

#2 - What makes us spiritually smart?

#2. Just knowing a lot of facts doesn’t mean you’re smart.

This is the second in a series of posts discussing some educational ideas that we know are true but we gloss over them when we teach kids, specifically in light of Children’s Ministry in the church. This one hit home to me pretty hard. I grew up in a Christian home and I was the typical know-it-all. Whether at church or at school, I had a knack for trivia. I used any test or quiz as an opportunity to show off. At church, my friend and I were always competing against each other. We could name the 12 disciples, 12 tribes, 10 commandments, Books of the Bible and regurgitate most every Bible Story including the minor details.

Throughout grade school and Junior High (what we called Middle School), I lived in this realm of collecting trivia. When I got to High school, the Bible studies that we did in the youth group changed. They were not about the stories as much as about life lessons. For example, more time was spent in the epistles than the stories in the Gospels. Eventually, it dawned on me that trivia is not the end goal of Christianity. By that time, it was clear that others got that sooner than I and they were much further along in their spiritual walk than I was. I was finding myself being confused by the questions that were asked where they were providing insight with their answers. I had missed a large piece of the puzzle.

Why did I miss it? There are a couple reasons that I think translate to kids today. First, it was easier. Facts and tidbits of information were easy for me to remember. The analytical side of me took over and convinced me that this was most important. It was easy to see if I was right or not; it was objective and that appealed to my logical side. Second, I was good at it. As a junior higher, I was trying to fit in and I found something I was good at. My value came from being the “smartest person” in the room. Boy, did I have my treasure in an empty pursuit there.

The referenced article states that learning too many facts and focusing on the detail too much can actually hurt the student when it comes to using thinking skills. I fully agree. When the High School Bible Studies asked thinking questions, I was too busy trying to find “the correct answer”. Instead, it was enough to just start thinking about the subject.

So what does this mean to our ministries? Similar to the previous post, we need to make sure we are teaching the “why” behind the stories and verses and not just the “what”. We need to tie the lessons to the real life of our audience. One tool I have found very helpful is to ask them what they are struggling with. If we are dealing with temptation, throw it out to them and see what they say. I have been surprised many times with how deep and honest they can be with their answers.

Secondly, we need to be aware of what we value and reward. Bible drills are good and review questions are important. However, are we rewarding those behaviors more than thinking skills and applying the lesson to their lives? Of course we are because the objective is much easier to quantify than the subjective. The problem is that the subjective thinking areas are the ones we need to make sure the kids spend some time processing. I am not opposed to rewards but we need to make sure we are teaching the important lessons.

As in every discipline, just having the knowledge is not enough. In music, knowing theory is good but putting it to work when performing is better. A doctor can know what is wrong with a patient but a good doctor takes the next step and knows how to treat the problem. The same is true in the Christian walk. We need to make sure we are teaching how to use the lessons we learn in the Bible in our day to day lives (James 1:23-25).

Mistake with Commercials

It is a tradition that I started a few years back to rate the Super Bowl Commercials. I did this with my team at Midland National because not everyone was interested in the game itself. We had fun with it. Since I have left Midland, I still pay attention to the commercials. Yesterday, I rated the commercials that I thought were the best on a Facebook post. I was nervous about one of them but included it anyway.

After thinking through the situation, I need to apologize for including the Fiat commercial in my list. I have a long standing rule about crude humor that I abandoned: if you cannot explain the joke/saying to an elementary aged-child without being embarrassed, it is not appropriate. That is why I have edited my previous post. While funny, it was inappropriate in a context where children would be watching.

One of my hobbies is to find out where certain sayings originate. For example, “Three sheets to the wind”, meaning someone is drunk, refers to what a ship needs to do in order to sail against the wind, They need to go back and forth in a zig-zag fashion. This resembles the way a drunk walks. This started because I am a literal person and I deal with children, who are very concrete thinkers themselves and also take a topic and drive it into the ground through repetition. One day, I heard someone use a phrase I had used many times before for someone that was trying to win favor with someone in authority by flattery or service (think a color and the thing you use to smell). It dawned on me, how can I explain this to a child without getting into topics that they should not be talking about?

Some of you may think I am being a prude or too rigid. That is fine; you are entitled to your opinion. In fact, I agree with you. I am being strict. The reason is that our kids grow up too fast as it is. I do not want to be the person that puts those ideas in their heads.

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”